frantic?

I've ditched the birth control 2 weeks ahead of my intended "schedule", and feel a little frantic for it. I've taken it for 5 years, that's a long time for my young life. But I do want kids, I'm just being neurotic. I miss having a job, being unemployed seemed the better option after Old Navy, but now I'm feeling spooky? nervous? neurotic...having hours of free time and no structure, self-imposed or otherwise is crazy-making. I need to start volunteering or applying to jobs that I can tolerate, or utilize the Y like I want to anyway. Keeping my body in better shape will keep my mind occupied, cause I do enjoy swimming and the exertion will make me feel emotionally more stable than this past week. My husband been very patience and understanding, but he needs to sleep and ignore me ass when I being a basket case for no better reason than my own self-imposed inactivity.
This past week's end and weekend (Friday & Saturday) was wonderful. I was hired by my uncle to help with an annual dinner party. So the assisting and the party itself was a wonder. My mind occupied and my body to a lesser degree (bags of ice aren't heavy enough to exhaust me, damn)
I need to get on a better diet track, more meals I make myself from known ingredients, less artificial, more organic...perhaps.